I have a tendency to “collect” people I stand by. Was proud to see at my sis’s wedding that this is another thing that runs in the family, and I don’t think I’m the only one who can mark a significant period in my life by the people I know from that period. Life is kind of people-based.
Now there is one guy I have some trouble summarizing because it was 10+ years of a good relationship, but here’s the attempt: Very dissimilar pasts with strangely similar short-term organizational goals in college. Both 6’4 guys who deign to be upstanding and admirable people. Guy came from a farm and alleged a childhood of abusive parents, I brought him home to nyc for Thanksgiving and Christmas and extended my family and thought we were all awfully nice about getting on board about that. After college, dad’s side gave him cheap rent. Guy exploited every mixed blessing possible and left others with the shit. Weird examples include building a wall in the hall of the apartment we rented him so he can sublet to some kid he met at a club for an actual profit, while letting a different room fall into the below state.
Or falling into egregious habits like telling some chick he owned my family’s house and the company he worked at before getting into a serious relationship with her. This guy turned from a promising person who was lined up to be far, far better than his upbringing, into being a selfish, douchy fridge-salesman.
If I sound bitter, I am a little because my dad told me a new stunt he was trying to pull by reaching out to him with some weird-ass, dramatic nonsense about me. So I read the conversation itself, and wow.
So my brain’s update is: I haven’t talked with this loser in years — was fine to grow apart and break away from the relationship for at least a bit, and he’s still initiating contact with my dad because said ‘pal’ is too stupid to have a sense of shame about of the above. Seriously, the word shameless can apply to this guy. But that’s my dad.
And seeing this convo for myself– that’s where I went from apathetic to, well fuck this guy. Who does that? He was trying to inject himself into my family business while telling my father to essentially treat me like a criminal, and trying to stir up all sorts of family drama that he thought he had inside information about after living with us.
What a loser.
When I saw the conversation, I wasn’t angry yet. I fired off one email to let Victor know he’s a hurtful loser and has no business saying this shit. Especially to my dad, period. It was weird when this year, suddenly he called my dad for his birthday too. Like I’m sorry, when did this tradition of calling my parents after getting a facebook reminder start? They don’t have that kind of relationship and it’s not like they’re having elongated conversations that matter, but loser moves like that set off alarm bells.
Today I recognize Vic as a 40 year old blond guy from the sticks with his history of trouble with the law after going to wallmart, or trying to glove at a club *eyeroll* for a reason. Guy’s apt to think of bullshit like sneaking into his company’s warehouse to sleep there because it’s cheaper than rent for a reason, too.
The conversation read with my father in itself was messed up, bullshit gossip about me too. Not being overly sensitive, the words were not rooted in reality and even my own old man thought it was messed up and called me about it. I ended up showing J, and I like that her response was immediately “Wow…he’s supposed to know you better than this.” Because I agree.
Fuck that guy. People who are douchebags are one thing, and I think the general rule is go let ’em be free with other douchebags — they tend to collect in big overcompensating clumps right?
But douchebags who don’t get boundaries? That’s a whole other thing.
Normally, people don’t have to worry about people crossing boundaries with their own parents, so bottom line: fuck that guy.
Also 100%, yes I’m apt to say something scathing at folks who deserve it. After all the shit I’ve extended this clown, yeah, I did do one vindictive thing. It’s true.
Yesterday during some morning toilet reading specific bullshit floated to memory. Maybe it was the new year, but Victor had posted this:
Was cringe in 2012 when I first read it for a few reasons. I also think 2012 was right before he moved to NYC and let life’s requirements turn him into an exploitative douche who’d top out in life the way he has, so way to burn.it.up.
So I advised my dad to not lean into that bozo’s future reach-outs and did my horrible and vindictive thing.
Yesterday, while doing toilet reading at 7am
I recalled this cringe declaration.
Dug it up.
And while I didn’t react in 2012, yesterday while making a poop, I TOOK REVENGE.
I laugh emoji’d at it.
Behold and fear, my revenge is undying.
Cower at the depths of my malice.
Tremble and warn your parents of me,
for my material existence is vengeance incarnate!
Ok but on a serious note, this guy has gone exactly as far in life with people, career, and love as he has for a reason.
This is one of the things I’m finding good reasons to believe — even if it’s not exactly like karma, karmic repercussions sure seem to follow folks. So as long as above bozo leaves my dad alone going forward, he’s welcome to do as he’d like to in this world without me.
And I really, really know this entry is a ridiculous culmination of something like 10 years of buddy-ship, but something about pulling more nonsense with my dad creates an undying urge to say “Hey fuck off.”