WHY AM I SO GOOD AT PUBLIC SPEAKING

FUCK

PEOPLE KEEP ASKING ME TO DO IT

THEY THINK I LIKE IT

FUCK

NO I DON’T

I MEAN SOMETIMES I DO BUT ONLY WHEN I’M SAYING WHAT I WANNA SAY

AND SOMETIMES, FUCK, PEOPLE WANT ME TO SAY WHAT I WANT TO SAY SO

FUCK

FIONE

FUCK.

I MC’D THE WHOLE FUCKING THING.

THERE WERE BIG SCARY PEOPLE IN THE ROOM BUT I REMEMBERED EVERYONE WANTS THIS TO BE A SUCCESFUL GOOD TIME AND LIKE MARATHONS, I ACCEPTED IMPERFECT BUT THOUGHTFUL AND EXECUTED EXECUTION AND SUCH WAS THE WAY

nbd just get people to raise their hand with important question and then be pleased by their data and explain to everyone that you’re grateful that they’re helping to make what is now corporate history by taking a break to enhance their cultural awareness with this enjoyable event and point out obvious things that that no one will disagree with like how we all need to eat and we all need to connect but tradition yeah that neat stuff let’s us transform that into memories that get more important as time passes ok great you totally weaponized the word tradition like a lightsaber and cut that butter cake good everyone’s agreeing quick point out how great the great leaders are ok stop quick introduce the dancers but also reassure people that you will not be dancing ok now force them to listen to why you’re grateful for 30 seconds then ask them to enjoy themselves before the young ones think about doomscrolling

I checked and heart rate was not under 112 the entire time.

BUT PEOPLE SPECIFICALLY TOLD ME HOW CALM I WAS

EVEN WHEN THINGS WENT WRONG

AND IT’S LIKE

GREAT I’M GLAD YOU THINK SO

WHY IS EVERYONE COMING UP TO ME OH GOD I HAVE TO POLITELY EXCUSE MYSELF TO GET PICTURES TAKEN AND THEN RETURN TO THIS OH FUCK ALL THE FOOD IS GONE AND I WANT TO MAKE JOKES ABOUT HOW INSIDE I’M LIKE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(but others won’t laugh unless I do it well)

FAK

So then I left when it was time and only after I got on the train I realized I left my favorite airshok headphones behind.

FUCK

RIP

(I already ordered new ones[_^fok])