One of the things I grew in my garden is called an “Indian Ghost Pepper”. Up until 2015 it was THE spiciest pepper in the world — losing to the Carolina Reaper. In India, it’s used as elephant repellent, and it’s very effective. To give an idea of it’s spiciness, a habanero pepper, the third hottest, I think, is 200-300,000 scovilles (heat units.) A ghost pepper can be anywhere from 1,000,000 to 2,300,000. It’s very, very hot. It’s the only thing I’ve seen that made both, my father, and my friend Ilya make a pain face. Ever. In my life. And I didn’t make them eat one, I dipped a knife in this thing I make from it, which I call “peppah watah”, which is a much milder, hawaiian-recipe-based solution. And I made them lick the knife after whicking the residue off. And that’s still too much. In most recipes, if I’m not cooking the peppah watah out, I used no more than 2-3 drops per cup of water or lb of meat.
It’s very, very, spicey.
Today, I made my second batch of ghost peppah watah.
Then I stood over the area that I diced the ghost pepper.
Lungs, instantly burning. All I was doing was standing over the area to chop an onion.
Decided to switch pants.
And I’ll be honest, cause I’m a h00mon. In the process I elected to readjust my dick.
I used the hand that held the ghost pepper in place.