Got a nice reminder of my age last night. And how, it’s a number. And how I grew up much luckier than I might feel. Yesterday I turned on some good, trashy tv to do stuff to, about people who were flat ass broke, and it made me kinda sad to see how hard they would work to scrape a hundred bucks together, and what it meant to them, and how they were living in a place where it was even more likely that someone would steal 20% of their net worth overnight.
It got my attention and made me count blessings after getting a little down. (It’s so sad to see a thing where hope was walking into the sunset – they saved enough money to go to college. Let’s try not to think about what that actually means.) Maybe that’s the sick enjoyment of shows like that.
(And this was good timing cause, last night there was some bullshit I read while feeling all . . . alright, “This’s just not my business, any more.” I wandered in toxic bullshit, and sometimes I’ll need a moment to realize it’s better to not even be all “wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh why is dees toxick!?” Got distracted – and if I let myself, can get distracted by a big . . . wow. But that’s all I’ll say on it.])
Anyway, I meant it about thinking bout what makes people tick. This makes special people stand out more. Sometimes people will learn a huge intense drive, but obviously certain shortcomings in their life stunt / mess with how they choose to apply it, despite breaking out in the most driven ways. Like to even get on documentaries like this involves that strangely intense drive, and to work as hard as they show they do is too, plus against odds? Same deal. But in the end, it’s some of the most fundamental things they’re killing their selves for. Some of the things we take for granted.
And, well, should it not be painful, to see folks being a workhorse at a low yielding thing they hate doing, then be venerated for it? We see them pull a 12 hour shift that can be boiled down to 4 seconds. We see an existence whittled into a pure movement for numbers, where gas money is a huge variable. At that point, it’s more clear by the real pull of their narrative that a better measure of life is in satisfactions and achievements, as well as the people we’ve learned to love and appreciate and cherish in our own lil journeys. (The cut away scenes where they had friends offer good advice were the most valuable moments during the entire struggle. )
Well, that’s how life and class ought to be weighed.
I guess once you have some things stable, but other things not, you get to make a decision to tear other things down or build good things up (or both) to feel boosted. To actually live a class-eh existence it’s kinda imperative to remember to focus on the positive option.
Ooh, ooh, and pet my cat.
(One of life’s luxuries just jumped into my lap as soon and birds outside have started doing this thing where they’re chirping [note: combination does not compute with what I know about cat psychology.]) This does mean I’m done adding to my dumb ole blog this early.