I wonder if 40% of people’s internet use is dominated by the compulsion to laugh.


There’s a shit-ton to say on that that I’m not gonna.

But I will point out that feelings of tranquility or that reward and satisfaction from deep processing seems more and more valuable over the giggle that can take over the top of our throats.


I’m coming up with a theory that I wonder would come into good practicality for how I seek to dishapwine.  You know that stereotype of artists who hate their own work?

I have a theory: it’s not that they hate their work, but that they’re sick of it. Here’s why I think it’d be good for me to get sick of my own thing, and maybe it’d explain why my addictive personality has a place.

I’ve met some artists (I’m thinking of a couple graphic designers) who are nearly egomaniac-status.  They’re very prone to interrupt anyone, talk over, even a little haughty.  IMO they’re not super dishapwined because one of them lacks a portfolio and the other one has a lacking portfolio and both of these are not representative of their capabilities, and these joes don’t finish projects. That’s just a part of their history and how I’ve known them as friends, and why I think they’re not more successful, really.  That makes them a pain to work with compared to the tons and tons of talent out there who’d jump at the chance and kill themselves over it.

The American market is saturated with creatives! When you’re dealing with saturations, only chance or special properties will help you rise to the top.

Anyway, when you get really dishapwined, i think it might get a little more than passion spurns you. I found an old blog recently and read 50 pages of it…..which was only like 6 entries.  The writing was ENGAGED.  I’m not going to say engaging, because it was more about being engaged.  It’s engaging if that’s what you’re into and if you have you’re motives or the patience to sift to some cool points.  A lot of people will want to giggle more, though.

So like, let’s take one of the more successful fiction dorks of our time: RA Salvatore.  He is sick of his main character that launched him into bestseller-if-his-name’s-on-the-book status. I’ll wager he’s poured over 10k hours into that idea/character/idea and playing with it, and then tweaking it.

The thing that made this main character so readable was it reads like water if you have a decent vocabulary.  It’s the same reason Harry Potter reads so well.  It’s also the same reason Rocky 1 watches so well.  It’s gone through so many edits and toys and obsessive processing that it’s a product of a lot of discipline more than self-indulgent “NARRRRRRRRRR!”

So, yeah, that demon voice that’s inside most of us and is a bit self-mocking – self-aware of how we make ourselves vulnerable to mocking – it’s picky.  It gets a say more than ego and passion. It makes me really critical when I evaluate my own stuff to the point that I almost feel like I dislike it.


but I don’t.

I wonder if many parents feel like liking their kid is beside the point until their kid learns the discipline which will take them far as good productive people.

Something wonderful doesn’t have to be something pleasant even most of the time, so I could see that.

I don’t know.  Just wonderings.  Just blatherings that aren’t quite gibberings. Words for company I like better than most company.

I’m gonna go work out now and think about Chicago and my sister’s ceremony of choice.


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