I’m sorry if this makes me seem like a lil whiny bitch.

I’ve got that in me too.

My novel disjuncture needs elbow grease.

I wrote half of it in 2013 while in a very permissive state of mind and some great stuff came out.  Also, as did some convoluted sentences.

Here’s the thing. A novel nowadays, I think needs to be better written than the bible.

And fuck you if you get all “OMGERRRRD, HOW COULD YOU SAY-” just fuck you, shutup and listen moron

most people don’t read the bible. They couldn’t. We’re coming to an age where new people are as equally likely to go “I wanna know about the bible” and youtube or wikipedia the bible, as actually read the bible.

Not to say there aren’t advantages to that.

But most people won’t read the bible not because it’s boring

(CMON ITS GOT GENOCIDE AND HEAVENLY BATTLES AND SLORES AND DEMONS AND GIANTS AND HEROES AND VILLAINS AND BETRAYED AND ALLEGORY AND RACIST FETTERED MISOGYNOSTICAL HOMOPHOBIA AND ALL THE JUICEY SHIT, and it’s probably got historical significance, no one is allowed to tell me the bible is boring)

Most people won’t read the bible because it’s not in a language that’s not appealing to their wittle bwains.  They don’t have the discipline to say “FUCKIT, PLOUGHING IN ANYWAY” until the words become meaning because they know they have wikipedia and youtube.

And again, not to say there aren’t advantages to that, but that’s what I believe, that’s what I know, and that’s why I think many eyes glaze over during mass, even though none should . . .

I mean, pretty insulting to the word and syntax translated from what many hold comes directly from Above, right?

Now, being aware of this, I don’t care how great are the ideas in disjuncture (fact, they’re there and great and this’s what makes me adamant about it’s execution and plot and characters – even the risky ones)

it’s the polish and story telling that isn’t mastered. And I love this bible comparison cause . . .imagine trying to remaster the bible.  Arrogant, insulting, sure, but also quite an effort! And at it’s current state, it’s 15k words less than the new testament . . . so.  . .hence all the bible comparisons.

This’s something authors do that I think is underappreciated.  It’s underappreciated in movies about authors, and books about authors, which I think is the ultimate gnar – editing the beast.  Fuck those movies where the guy stands by at a typewriter or word processor and the next day it’s done. How does the guy not have that nagging feeling every time he’s read it until he wants to go back and hand it off and go “YES, RIGHT” – for me that takes like, a few run-throughs until I can read it recreationally and be comfortable with the voice.
All of this is a really whiny way of saying, mang, I gotta see what’s up with this disjuncture dream because as far as I can tell my brain is that way after being well rested from like, 11am till 5 or 6.  And guess what I’m doing then?  Finance.

I forgot why in some ways I was more productive as a bartender . . . it didn’t take those hours.  In fact, it fueled them.

Just something to think about.  I really have to think about the next few years of my life carefully. Mostly cause I’m turning 30, and I only get those years once, and I think they’ll set up the rest.

I also seem to be getting an eye infection.  My right cornea/eyelid feels itchy and sore, and tears like crazy when exposed to air.  It’s slightly redder.  And obnoxious. So I looked it up on WebMD because I like to joke that every time I get symptoms that I look up WebMD will tell me that I have cancer.

But this time it didn’t.

This time WebMD told me I have eyeball herpes.

Thanks WebMD!