So I’m Less Tired

Goddamn Queeny, that’s some real hard, deep goddamn rage.  It’s not normally felt by people.  I have no opinion as to whether or not it’s a good or bad thing.

I really, really do wish though, that it was a sensitivity that was validated positively, instead of negatively. I’m not urging to “correct” anything because it may actually not be a correction — for all I know said wrath is relating points that are fair and shouldn’t be trifled with.

I just do also know that ideally, an ability to feel and express something so deeply and profoundly ought to swing both ways.

In the end, I wish the way thangs swang made you love life’s moments more than experiencing such a profoundly vindicative yargh.

(I also feel like my idiocies make me too much of a target to even try and contribute smartly anymore.)

(I also wish swang was a word.)



I’m seeing that things can be done more optimally at this job.  I put in some words exemplifying exactly how. I honestly hope it leads to good things and not resentment. I kind of had to do it while between tasks, and on the move.  I don’t really trust people though. Should I?




Here’s some rambly bullshit sentences which I think are unrelated to all of the above. It’ll continue a gratuitous use of the word I….maybe.

You know what it means to look into a little narrow box?


(I say this as I type into a little white box)

It means you don’t see the rest.


Let’s talk about Overwatch, and sniping in general.

If you try out all the classes, it becomes clear that the way you look through your lense is a BIG determiner in who you’ll target, and what you’re react to.   This means that the best snipers do NOT spend all their time scoped and zoomed in.

Overwatch has a character named Ana.  I believe that the most elite and best ana’s spend most of their time not zoomed in and exploiting a comfortable position.  Being able to react to the big picture makes you the biggest factor in a match.  That’s the point that overwatch proves again and again.

In Global Agenda, one of the things that made me better than most people I think was my tendency during clusterfuck fights to “take a breath” by flying in the air and doing a 360.   I was able to retain the full circle of what was happening around me, decide my priorities, then go in for the kill

(Which also happens to be a GREAT song by Le Roux)

Now zooming in has it’s benefits, and this is where it can be obnoxious trying to decide between the two.  Zooming in has it’s advantages of seeing detail.  Focusing.  Doing your best within that one narrow drillhole.

But the big picture, and knowing when to zoom in, was always the way of the most powerful players.


This I think applies to real life a whole, whole lot.  I like overwatch because you can correct mistakes.  You get to respawn.  But you don’t get to do this in real life a whole lot, unless you see certain experiences and opportunities as disposable.  That sucks, cause I honestly think each and every second has the capability to be unique.

So here’s a thing I think my gut’s against.   Seeing patterns in a zoomed in way.   It means shrewd.   Shrewd kind of sucks —  I’m told I have a way of using shrewd as a slur, when I think I’m using it precisely.  Shrewd means zoomed in to me.   People who are shrewd have a zoomed in view of life.  And you have to be careful with how you engage them because you might get caught in their box.

But here’s the other thing: every good team is REALLY benefited by an amazingly shrewd person.  That’s the sniper.

And a sniper needs support in most situations.

Basically, not everyone needs to see things the same way.  And it’s best when people can sample each other’s views and see where their talented way of looking at things fits in most with the team’s dynamic. When this happens, it’s like magic, and shit is efficient and lovely.   Then you can really start having fun.

Guess I’m always wondering how to most have fun in a kickass team.




Also, new pet peeve, because I hate how Donald Trump represents the word “presidential.” (I gave him a chance, but fuck that guy.)


Anyone who says “No one _____ more than me.”

It suggests that this man has evaluated every candidate person who could fill in that blank, and somehow disqualified them from somehow being smarter or better, and that you should trust him.

It’s the type of rhetoric that tries to confuse the listener, in what are vain attempts to make them mistake arrogance, for confidence.  Confident people do things, because they’re confident.  Confident people are honorable — they make words like honorable look good.

Little bitches who need to rely on cheap tactics like that to increase their value ….man… I wish it never worked. Sure as hell turns me off though.  And it’s not even just trump I hear talking like this, but he’s unfortunately way guilty of it, too.




One thought on “So I’m Less Tired

  1. I wrote that on Tuesday, March 3, 2009 at 8:40 AM about a person who ruined my life. Found it again when they resurfaced. You don’t have to worry your pretty little head or concern yourself with idiocies.


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