I hate to say it, but in my growing older-fart ways of the world;
I kinda have a stereotype for a man-sprout. It’s between 25-35. It’s had a parent who acted more of an emotional assassin than a parent. It cuts people off because it hasn’t learned to listen last. It BS’s more than uses real reason, because the man-sprout has learned that authority and being a bigger kahuna > actual reason. It’s self-aggrandizing. It’s unsure, uncertain, overcompensating, and always looking for others to see value within. It doesn’t know how to lead anything but minions.
Basically, good dads raise great men. Dumbass ones who are good at only a few things and use their children to elevate the status of their own tradition, create man-sprouts.
I think the thing with gals traditionally – and I’m sure many wouldn’t love this belief – is that they traditionally are allowed to take a quieter, second, less leading-role. It’s even expected, often. So they don’t have this drive as frequently compelling them to fake lead all the time. That just maybe they’re not a responsible member of their own gender unless they’re alpha, like pa-pa was. The thing is, when you teach how to be alpha by bitching a human out….well that bitch might just get confused, and RATCHET in trying to be big kahuna.
There’s a sort of person who has to be the big fish. They can’t even realize how tiny the soup they swim in, really is.
I’ve had some resentment over a couple fellows I used to tightly ally with, who won’t expand beyond being this way. You make a suggestion on how to improve something, and they see it as a threat towards their exercised standing. They cut people off. They BS. They DONT FINISH THINGS THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO. I’m thinking of a couple of guys I’ve given at least 30 chances too (never give someone more chances than you have years on the planet) before deciding “Ah fuck’m.” and moving on to do my thing. And it makes me realize that these are EXTREMELY different fellows with these same commonalities. And honestly, yes, their parents seemed to suck. And now that we’ve all hit 30, I can see the ways they haven’t grown up is similar. I don’t know how I’m not supposed to realize these thoughts. I think the best I can do is get cold about these feels, NOT get reactive (these are things that make me want to unfacebook. [OMGERD, UNFACEBOOKING!]) I think the best I can do is allow myself to realize these feels cause, seriously, said man-sprouts have had equal trouble with the law, lost close friends for similar reasons, or failed at maintaining a solid gf, and again I think it’s for similar reasons.
In the end, I think my mind does classify people into class – like most of us. I don’t get elitist about it because good company is preferred over classy company. And the way I consider class is, how capable do you allow yourself to be, and what kind of people can you work with. I think one of the strengths of someone like Bill Gates is, he can work with people who are MUCH, MUCH smarter than him. Someone who’s nearly autistic but has such a specialty that Gates will work in smart ways to allow that value to shine through – the way he considers things if you listen to his interviews, it’s not hero worship to realize, Bill Gates is much classier than a LOT of people who get high amounts of air-time today. And for me, what I just pointed out is exactly why. You’ll notice Mr. Gates doesn’t have to cut people off, and that his patience is actually more of an act of temperance, then merely waiting for his turn.
So I’m gonna get back to my plot, but I think the thought of this morning is I’m unfortunately, as usual, gonna allow myself to realize and think. I think it’s not a sin to do this about one’s friends if you’re doing it coldly and not to hurt folks. Especially if you are looking out for yourself in the end (it’s good to realize traits to avoid or work around in work groups, yo.)
I dunno, blah blah blah, that’s it for me and back to plot-plot.
2 thoughts on “Man-titled”
it never occurred to me the pressure that men feel to lead. I suppose that’s true given that women (at least in my experience) tend to feel that way about being timid, shy, listening without being heard type of mannerisms. A part of me also thinks that cutting of people is a wonderful way to promote self care. But, the other part of me thinks it’s probably not healthy to solve problems by simply cutting people out of your life instead of dealing with deeper issues. I’m guilty of both, myself. But, how do you solve a problem that was nurtured into being for 30+ years? Maybe it’s a lost cause at this point.
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Just saw this, and dishapwine.
The answer you seek is dishapwine. Even my own immediate-gratification loving ass has always appreciated how there’re times long-term happiness is most generated by dishapwine, and definitely not the other way around.
Practicing said dishapwine feels painful and hallow without eyes on that end-goal.
And regarding cutting people off – it’s helped me. But, I’m NOT talking cutting them out, I’m talking about a lack of engage. Some of the people who inspired this entry have definitely had a less obstructive, less negatively charged impact as soon as I just backed the heck away. This validates that these have been good decisions on my part, in my opinion.
Of course, everyone’s different people though. In the end I just hope we all reveal to ourselves whatever works best for us.