(This entry is gonna be based in sweeping generalizations about one of my favoritest topics.)
Narcissism is prevalent because narcissism is a personality trait. It’s not so much as “are you self-concerned” as much as “How purely self-concerned are you” ?
And that’s a very shitty, loose metric that’s shitty to obtain.
I’m deciding that a great way to measure if someone has this in overbearing amounts is: are they able to actually see you for who you are, when given the chance. I’m thinking of three people I think, in my correct opinion, have a personality problem. One thing all three of these men have in common – besides having an above average amount of charisma and drive, yet a very poor social following (in rl….if I have to specify) to show for it, along with strings of broken relationships, along with strings of friends and former partners who have given up trying to understand.
Well, another main unifier of this group is their willingness to jump into other people’s shoes and accuse them of motives that, might not be very true. Heck, now I’m even thinking of the silly ex who accused me of only liking one type of girl, and very speciously too. (I think anyone who thinks I have one type hasn’t been listening – hotness and beauty comes in all sorts.)
Not to say we’re all entitled to deep understanding and processing. But, when you try to reveal who you are, and when who you are doesn’t really cross the aisle….maybe that says something about the audience more than you, hmmmm?
Cause it’s occuring to me that someone who’s more timid about how they diagnose the thinking of another, is willing to admit that they don’t know something. And, curiosity+timidness about diagnosing how another person ticks, this equates to a possessed theory of mind that’s much more advanced than those dumbasses who can’t see you outside of the lens of themselves (in fact, those people project a lot.)
When you’re self-assured and well socialized, your presentation of self shouldn’t be that murky. And yet, who among us, really, even the loudest, more open-booked — who among us feels fully understood by everyone given a chance to read us?
Doubtfully more than a tiny sliver of humanity.
Well, there are those of us who can read, interpret, and acknowledge iunno, maybe, and possibilities, and those of us who assume things based on little more than ourselves. It’s an extra task to acknowledge one’s individuality outside of our own.
….it’s as if the narcissus myth is based on a dumbass falling into his own reflection and drowning for a reason.
So while psychopaths don’t feel remorse and sociopaths have their shitty sides unhinged, narcissists are shrewd and selfish and motivated by one thing. Pathological narcs are RARE, like really rare, plus it also takes a lot to function well as one. This means that most of ’em, you should be able to see them coming. Narcs usually bumble and get negative in special ways for interesting reasons — even if they address issues that are petty, I think the especially defunct narc’s reaction stands out especially.
So I think, the best defense against these twats? Listening. Good listening. Testing how one relates. Understanding patterns of analyzing and reacts.
Cause I’m thinking about it tonight and, considering the number of warning signs, if you’re not so bent on flocking to these individuals and assuming more good than they actually have, you should be fine if you keep your head on, pay attention, and maneuver.
For this reason I guess it’s good to not do most of the talking when introducing oneself and learning and growing within any industry.