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There ARE good movies out there.

(Transcendence is one of them – fine flick till the end.)

There are tons of shitty flicks too, but if you’re anchored in netflix, you’ll probably think it’s bogging.  Returning to manual selection days – and cyber and biopunk – and it’s just, more soulful.  Remember when plots resonated with real world relevance in a kooky parallel?

I’m back from chicahgo and was really a fan of the part of town I saw. An area that goes from something like brooklyn heights, to the village, to a park with a non-maltreating zoo and lakeside ALL WITHIN 10 BLOCKS?! Sis and her new husband are not doing bad.

 

My take and recap of her badass wedding (what great, non-traditional, killer venues):

Places – Music Box movie theatre (where she and husband had their first date – very classic place) with a bunch of skulls and and organist and LOVE.  Lots of luv.   Mars Gallery art place was where reception was.  Chicago homes a lot of heart.

Well I did a slideshow that became a main feature of the wedding (I thought it would be cool as an after party kind of thing) that really became a third of the actual ceremony itself.  I’d love to link it but it’s got lots of PII and is really my sis’s at this point (folks, don’t like, take pictures using the wedding photographers angle’s, and don’t upload things to social media before the person who really should.)

But I spent 15+ hours on the sucker – getting every image I could from family, stalking, using OLD WEBSITES to sort through and take the best pics) and told a story with clips of great people who were in the audience in younger days and can really say it ended up going over as a great thing that was funny and grand! (Synced with music, made jokes, gave everyone a scope of bride and groom how they’ve grown up, how they grow together, how goddamn sweet it is, I indicated that my sister was born as a girl and is a great sis, I used stuff from led zeppellin to jem, etc) and there was a message at the end asking for people to join in applause and not only did they, groom made me stand up and give him a gaddamn hug.  Entire ceremony brought my special-brain of a father to tears (he was tres emotional – I think lots of parents feel that if their kids don’t procreate that they’ve failed) while mom and lucien were cool as fak and there was so many drinks and partying shared.

It’s funny when you re-meet people who knew you as a really dorky but unfulfilled and confused about it 12 year old and you’re definitely an assured man. It’s funny when you shmooze and mingle like a polite but enthusiastic adult how impressive that is to people, against that old standard. This was not a mainstay or main point of the wedding, but it was, definitely an upgrade.  I’ll be frank, when I was a kid I always sort of wanted to ask my older sis “if we weren’t related and met in school or something would you want to hang out?”  Today I know and feel the answer as yes, and we’re also definitely related.  My sis, like me is a pain in the ass, but she’s also insightful and a joy, so that makes me tres happy.

I have to give a special shout out to Jaidree, she was amazing. Helpful, honest, smart, polite, gorgeous.  She passed on a story one of my sis’s oldest friends created:

F:  “So you’re Jaidree!”

J: “Yep”

F: “I’ve got to say! So Jessica talks about you so much! She’s loves you! She’s all ‘So this girl jaidree is gorgeous and cool and beautiful and fun and smart and for some reason she loves my brother, wtf!’ which, btw, yes, hi! But now I’m all, “gurl! Your brother is FAHNE!”

(Friend is married btw.)

So let’s talk about this marriage club:

I’ve always figured I’d get married one day and start a family that way. I’ve also taken my time because life isn’t fair and I’m a male from Brooklyn, so I’ve always figured to take my time making my choice because the intent is to make that choice correctly.  My SO’s parents got married, I think, after they realized mom was preggers, and were PERFECTLY happy to live their lives as a wonderful couple together otherwise.  (They’re true adventurers with talent, I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what would’ve happened.) We’re not gonna talk about why my folks happened for multiple reasons.  But my mom’s side, friends I meet through my mom actually, have pulled me and jaidree aside individually and together, to inquire when we will stop living in sin.

And I think it’s important to recognize that living in sin is a greater plunge than signing a marriage contract. I think the devotion and understanding and ENJOYMENT of life together there are more vital, than agreeing that you’re married and not disputing the paperwork set up that says so.  That’s my fuggin [correct] opinion.

And Jess explained that now that she’s in the club she’d love to see me there too.  I think that’s as pushy as she’s going to be about it because I’m sure she didn’t love that sort of goading when she and her husband were doing the same.  And I think that’s really it, it’s well intentioned, it’s kind of a way of saying how great J and I are.

But here’s the thing: because some people can be real pushy.

Like DARE pushy.

Like, “YOU’RE TRYING TO PEER PRESSURE ME AND I’M GONNA TELL ON YOO!”

When I am pulled aside and find this inquiry phrased in such a way as “So are you going to marry her?” (That’s a quote.)

Ok, first, you’re a chick.  No guy has asked me something like this yet.  Multiple women over 28 have.

And observation of sexism aside, here’s what you’re asking: have I created a plan of what I’m going to do with my gf yet.

 

Here’s my answer: If I had a binary yes or no question, wtf.  If the answer is yes, clearly I’m some sort of a cowardly puss and haven’t worked out how to propose yet.  If the answer is no, I’m clearly a jerk-off wasting everyone’s time unless that’s, for whatever reason, exactly what she wants.  But if the bottom line is if I have a binary answer, there’s either something you don’t know, or I’m not a very optimal man.
The optimal answer – I believe – if we’re together and loving it and will see how that goes.  Because that’s a private matter.  I also have the feeling that the same people might get all “SO ARE YOU GONNA MAKE BABEHS” immediately after I slapped a ring on it, so meh.

On that note, the groom pulled her aside (very different vibe) and revealed surprise that I’m J’s first bf.  Apparently people believe she’s that pure wholesome dater, but she’s never been that sort. She then in turn revealed how our philosophy of “we’re being together and seeing how it goes and so far it’s great and, we’ll see where it goes” which, was something we both arrived at independently, which, clearly has been working for multiple reasons that it should (erm, laws of nature combined with the temperance if not all out destruction of anything that isn’t a constructive, positive addition) which, happened to be both the bride and groom’s dating MO. Obviously, there’s something to it!

 

Anyway,

my sis and I are super related. Everything from the way she laughs to the things that make her laugh, to the creation of an MO have made me realize this.

Also she calls people with dayjobs “Daywalkers.”

Our biggest difference, aside from height and biology, might be that she likes antiques a shit-ton more than I.

Anyway, that’s a ramble-wrap

Cause YESTERDAY, I finished a major, major round of edits for disjuncture. I have some new connections to agents I’m going to attempt to make something work with it.  While I’m still sort of tempted to shave out certain scenes for brevity, it’s should read much more like something you can guzzle.  I think a lot of fiction that does well when commercialized reads like water – you can like I said, guzzle.    Before it read like really strong cocktails you’re meant to sip in many areas.  Anyway, that, plus replacing the wallet I accidently lost while jogging around lincoln park (oh yeah that happened – don’t every use basketball shorts to hold wallets, people — is dumb) is today so buhbye

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