Goal: kick this exams ass


surrender to America






I still feel like if the stuff that’s more “magical” than that is supposed to happen, it’ll happen.  If not, alright.  As long as you’ve made that a possibility rather than expecting it to fall in one’s lap.
I’ve always kind of accepted the reality that, if reality doesn’t want me to succeed with the efforts I’ll actually give, then, fine — there’s quite a bit to be said for push it and hope the next generation keeps being a thing that’ll give hope.  Or the generation after that.


Not always an optimistic thing, but there’s also a lot to be said for a dialectic, too.


I also like the idea that idealistic people propogate ideals in some shape or form.
They don’t have to do so directly.  And while I’ve always, always hoped I’d be the person to do so directly, I’d be happy to be some sort of actor that makes way for someone else to do that.  There’s still good as an end result of that.


Anyway, that’s my way of saying just cause I can write two interesting books, that I also know I can’t depend on ’em.  That’s the rationale of going “k” and “and” in addition to sending query letters….which I now think I know how to do.

I want to add to that note, cause I also know that I wrote two interesting novels.   One’s about an AI, and the other’s about a god that wants all human sentience, but can’t encapsulate a modern musician.   Both of these kick ass, and I dig that.  But if that’s as far as that goes, fine.  I hope it’s not.  And I don’t give up, and still don’t, but, the eggs in that basket have been kicked and getting stale.

And moreover, on the other hand I wanna provide for others and am sick of sucking.

So fine, America.

Fucking, fine.

I gave it a couple years.  I think that’s fair, and if that’s held against me, whoever is holding it against me is a jealous person who’s a bigger dongleberry than I.


(Seriously, I know people who think I’m a dongleberry for giving multiple dreams a shot.  Considering some of the people I’ve served in service…who get served daily….c’mon, that’s just a bit shameful.)


I think it’s sad how many dreamers couldn’t give shots to their dreams.

But on that note: I think many things are sad.

And, at least we’re alive and there’s always hope for more, and the next day carrying as much.
If you try, and the next day carries some possibility of more than indulgence, that’s a special way of being alive.   I can honestly say that’s a philosophy I’ve really tried to sustain, and I know it’s gotten me more than nothing.  But there’s a lot to that too.


It’s just good to do more than suck.  I know that.


There’s lots to be said for other virtues besides not sucking, too.


The world view described in some of the previous paragraphss coitenly isn’t the only one.


Anyway, I’m planning to dig in to some of the stuff that’ll lead to smaller goals that can escalate.


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