so I don’t mean to make a fitness post too hard but I’m gonna express

It’s not that I got fat,

but I definitely feel like I got fat.  I’m still keenly aware of how much I weighed and what being fit – on my terms – feels like, when I was.  I actually got to a point for many years in a row where I was comfortable with my ability — and a thing is, I still kept working at it.  But since my last grandparent died, since some crazy stuff hit the fan, and strangely, since I quit every form of smoking (which i think I compensated for with more beer and other stuff in my face-hole) and moving into a new neighborhood with all this great food.

Well, look, a marathon weight is probably as light of a weight anyone’ll get to measure their healthful self against.  And while I never was a true marathon weight, before mine, I’m keenly aware that I was 180 when I ran mine.  At my height, that’s the lower end of what’s considered a healthy bmi, judging by charts I’ve read.  I was healthy. I was doing a-ok.

Yes, I know, a focus on weight is not a good metric of fitness, considering how much muscle can weigh, but when you are starting to feel weak and the numbers are going up, there’s probably work to be done.

So I’ve been making deals with myself, and one of the better ones has been daily pushups.  Like, I spend so much goddamn time behind a PC that I decided I’m gonna watch a thing for an hour, and do at least 2-4 pushups every minute for an hour straight.  I figured that was so petty and stupid and little, (doing two pushups in a row should make any bro laugh) but I did that last night. And holy crap, I woke up with shoulders.

So I’m gonna keep this up, I’m about to go on a long run, and while I enjoy my body and life, I’m not gonna let myself be any crappier than I already am.  And the plan is: routine.  Something every day.  I don’t care what time, I’m vowing not going to be a sedentary human, because the three days I’ve done something active, I’ve noticed being in a really good mood the day after, and that makes perfect sense.

So again: routine. Dishapwine.

They’re not easy answers, but they’re simple answers.


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