Tonight I played a vr game that was half-way towards the vr game that’s featured in Disjuncture, thought that was kind of cool.
It’s funky, I can’t say I’m getting more or less tolerant overall, as much as picky about things I choose to be tolerant about…..like ok I’ll do some bullshit to accomplish a goal even if it means a 14 hour workday is what it takes? Fine.
But then also, I switch a few windows and suddenly my brain is firing on “…..” to “….?” to “…..!! DUMB”
For example, I MAY have encountered a racist, or an asshole, or someone who simply is so caught up in a picture I can’t see all of that they come off like a big jerk. Unfortunately, this was in a more professional situation, and the only thing I KNOW is, that I don’t know all the gears that are turning, or how hard.
One of the things about the folks I’ve been dealing with lately that I like is, manners seem basic. Politeness and courtesy are more than professional lubricants to me, but things are definitely lubed up during most interactions — let’s put it that way.
The thing I don’t like about that is, it stands out when people don’t have these niceties, and one guy in particular was clearly playing games with a project I was growing involved in. Lot of friction, lot of back-tracking to figure out what his end-goal was, and once I did, hey, ok. I think it’s a weird and lame end-goal, I think the guy’s a frustrated dork more than a respectable person, but I’m going to contribute my piece and whatever.
I think 10 years ago I’d have thought it was admirable in a way to put this person on an open blast. But one of the most responsible ways to possess big balls is to keep them in your pants. Frankly, I think he’s going to get what he wants — and even though I think it’s silly, and it’s bad for the project….can I just not be on that project? I’m covering my ass and happily letting him eat the project his way, I don’t really need to disrupt that. And he was even a little rude about it, and some things rubbed me as impractical waste of times and you know what? *Deep breath* Yeah it’s actually ok.
Meanwhile, there’s other stuff that I don’t have a tolerance for. And I know it’s dumb, but it’s so….*button clicks in brain* “Hey I’m done.” I can’t indulge the same things the way I used to….
First example I can think of….people who want to jerk off vapid things on facebook, and I mean VAPID — “Here is an obscure show I watched, and I just want to write this essay that’s completely off point and I sound stoned but I’m not, and I’m going to argue with people in the comments even if they’ve got credentials in this field and I’m a guy who’s 35 who’s trying to out-do the thought patterns of others from my very own pc in my mom’s house.” Or, fucking dolts asking if I want to go do things with them that are influencer-y, but DUMB AS FUCK. NO I DONT WANT TO GO TO A FUCKING AIR BNB TO SIT AROUND SOMEONE ELSE’S HOME. NO I DONT WANT TO BRUNCH. NO I DONT WANT TO EXPLAIN THAT THERE’S A FUCKING PLAGUE AND I THINK ADDING ‘SOCIAL DISTANCING’ BEFORE AN IN-PERSON GROUP ACTIVITY SOUNDS LAME AF.
Wow. All caps.
Gosh I’m touchy.
I don’t know, my brain reacts to some things with a “that’s dumb.” or “arrgh” and maybe it’s sharper in some ways but it’s also less cool too.
And then I get neurotic in how confident I want to be a prick about things I find dumb, because I don’t want to be an asshole at the world, but also, some crap is really dumb. Like ok, new easy example: My blog. I know my blog can be dumb (even though objectively it is the greatest page on the interwebz ever) but the point is I didn’t make you come here. I’m not asking you to go through stupid costs to engage it. (Not to mention, if you disagree with something I say here you’re just wrong anyway.) I think these are key differences with what I’m less tolerant, and more eye-rolling for.
But if I went on facebook and started pushing my nonsense in your feed?
Maybe then that’s my problem.
And that’s my point — I think some people are starting to push that.
Meh, maybe I’m also just tired — 2 60 hour weeks in a row is a really weird way to preface my upcoming week off and I’m curious how that’ll go.
Blah, de fooking blah.
I think midday naps and 11pm coffee is lovely but maybe it’s making me feel a bit internally raw too.