Had a great weekend! Sis is in town. I love her, and proud of her. (She even seems proud of me, I love that too.) We threw small parties, for the first time ever she actually got to meet some of my people, AND THEY LOVED EACH OTHER, and oh yeah, and I love that too. Today’s her last day, and this should be interesting. But we real talked. Got into real ethics. She helped me out with the old man by setting things straight. We repaired the home (she’s more DIY than me . . . like she’s got some badass construction in her apparently) I balanced what I wanted to, and so love not minding being sleep deprived right now.
Now I also want to clear something up in general, and it is also in response to a specific event:
Anyone who knows me knows I’ve been a big mouth on xanga, and that I’ve always had issues with venting what’s raw and on my mind, while occasionally saying too much, or too soon, etc. Sometimes complicating things with complicating feels get an entry. Maybe that’s dumb, but if I’m driven to post, and do, i promise to not just be an egomaniac. I’ll always try not to piss people off if some insult is being made is just cause I’m feeling hot headed. Finally I’ll try not to just degrade or demean people who’re actually just being people. Most of my friends aren’t perfect though, and sometimes my head breaks that down.
So here goes, if that ever appears to slip and I appear to do nothing more than break you down like a douche:
If you know me, and I write something that offends you, makes you feel bad, or horrible please do not message me with attacks for it. Really, dont tell me why I wrote an entry, or try to get in some last word. Please. It burns bridges.
I don’t name names unless it’s in a positive light. But, I also want to make this my blog, and, I’m flawed, and as/whenever I’m trying to evolve flawed processes, bullshit might spew or happen. And I never want to spin things just to make myself look good, (In fact, a good deal of my entries are mews about what I should or could be doing better, and make me look pretty flawed and dumb. I keep them out there for reasons, and generally do little more than hope I’m not attacked for them by others.
I’m also not going to spin what I do here as a virtuous attempt to be honest or something. Ericisthebest is simply whatever it is. Its a great and a silly, personal page right now.
What I do here really is mostly limited to processing, sharing, or leaving notes for the future. You can bet your bottom I do try to inspire, but really, I like this page as a reading and writing exercise regarding life, and love offering it as something that others maybe could get something out of (entertainment, contact, ideas, maybe inspiration) by plugging into. Keyword: maybe. However, it’s hurtful to both parties every time it’s happened that someone’s revealed they can’t take a written perception about some state of things, or reveals something is too disturbed to be worth relating for real.
If it comes to a complicated feeling, there’s a good chance that I’m rambling about what comes to mind during different state and phases of awareness. There’s a good chance that I’m expressing sentiments that are not permanent, because that’s the nature of feelings, and if my feelings on an issue bother you, I’d respect the person who lets me know I’ve disturbed them (I might surprise them too) way more than someone who wants to counter-burn instead. Lastly, know that asking my motives > telling me what they are, or just keep it to yourself if you actually don’t wanna know what’s going through my head, or just feel like you know and have made a closed and final judgement, and’re just able to insult me about it.
I suppose scorn = damage, and is just ugly on anyone. And who wants who to be ugly, anyway?
Anyway, this site’s silly, it’s very imperfect, and of course I’m nervous about the idea that I can make a clumsy entry and piss someone off, or posting something that’ll be used against me, but that’s the way it is sometimes. Please just bear in mind, I know this is an inane blog and it’s not a real platform. I so want to be much more than an aggrandizing guy, and while I intend to be writer-man, which means living inside my head a LOT, I actually can’t do that well, unless I connect with a life that’s outside my head too. (That’s a fact, jack.) Following: I work to evolve mas merit and respond to people who deserve it, I really do.
Yet burning bridges with an entry has got to be one of the most fail uses of modern technology today. So maybe please just leave me for a good while, or for ever, if scorn is all Ive inspired, eh?
Bridgeburning via blogs will never be my goal, (I’d tell you directly why you suck and should die in a fire, first) but if that happens, it’s a shame, and something probably went real wrong outside this page anyway.
I do understand a lot more than how things just feel at any time, and had to write this because it’s a genuine disclaimer: cause I’m giving myself permission to be a little raw here. I understand that’s always a risk when blogging, and not normal one to take, and that if the heat is too hot that some people will not be able to stay in the kitchen, but i still think everyone who matters is able to take a bit of my perception without destroying all.
I think that’s who I am, I think I’m more pleasant than hostile at heart, which is why I’m ok with giving myself that permission, and I think it’s fair if people wanna take it or leave that.
#Wants to be Considerate
#Is also Eric, too