No filter-mode + lotsa caffeine = take the points I’m dancing round with a grain of salt – or coffeh. This started out with me drinking too much coffee and being asked what I think are the correct more important decisions to make in a life (WHY DO PEOPLE WANT MY TWO CENTS, I’M A WEIRDO TAKING A QUESTIONABLE PATH.)

 

Anyway, it’s been a while since I remembered my ninja hippo, and 3am me liked the giggly.

 

 

Me:

Well I’m not gonna pull a well intentioned Aunt and just try to convince you to become a math teacher regardless of whether or not you like math cause that’s what my mind’s fixed on

Imma tell you to figure your shit out. That narcissism that’s in you and been beaten down by your more narcy old man who thinks he’s some awesome patriarch?

Wake it up. It actually leads to ambition

Then, start telling yourself how great you are. That’ll charge your ego

that ego will be the ammunition in your ambition cannon. Your narcassism will tell it where to fire

you let it tell you where it wants to aim

you do so, if you want, you find opportunities to yell KAMEYAMEYAAaAH to make the journey more enjoyable

have sex on the way

enjoy yourself

take note of haters. These are people who wish you were more pathetic, because they feel pathetic sometimes, and it might make them feel a lil inferior that you proudly don’t seem to feel pathetic in the same ways they do.

 

Cuz:

so basically be more like my High School self

 

Me:

Listen to how they shittalk you in their shitty book reviews. Laugh, and remember that the story is called “snarf the buttpirate” and ask why so srs

Sure

that

and then your spirit animal will meet with you

he will say “fire the cannon with me, with mee!”

and, you will have doubt odin

 

Cuz

my spirit animal is a vulture

 

Me:

there will be that internalized voice

it will keep you up occasionally

it’s the demon voice that tells you why you shouldn’t esteem yourself. Why you aren’t worthy, and how much of a PRIVILEGE it’d be for you to just follow other people’s orders and scrape on by

but don’t just listen to it

On the possibility that you can do better

One the real chance one day, your spirit vulture will descend from the cliffs

sying “AHHH

I SEE YOU HAVE CHARGED YOUR CANNON

AND AIMED IT

IT IS TIME TO FIGHT THE DEMON”

and the demon will appear

like the devil in a jack black song

YOU CANT DO IT ODIN the demon will say

NAH HA HA

(it may even dance at you, depending on its power level, and if it’s over 9000)

but that’s what your spirit animal is for

the spirit animal knows you

ITS BEEN IN YOU THE WHOLE TIME ODIN

Let it guide you.

let it fly about the demon, show you what the winds are like at greater depths. let it light the demon with its mighty scree

“CAWWWWWWWW”

and then, shoot that fucking demon in the face with your ego narc cannon cuz

 

Cuz

so before I can find a direction in life I first need to empower my spirit animal and then defeat the demon?

 

Me:

right in the fucking face

cause vultures need carrion

and your spirit animal is hungry

Your spirit animal is tired of being weak cuz

And once you feed it, he’ll show you where to soar

you can ride him higher and harder than harry potter rides the gryphon

the rest will follow.

That’s my advice.

 

Cuz

I will need some coffee

I will think about this