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Rewatching the walking dead

playing l4d2

….I guess I’m getting into an older mindset I loved.

It’s not the best blessing, but TWD season 1, was definitely a fine show.  Way better than the drivel coming out now.

Old vibes means, I’ve also been mentally reviewing life a lot.

And I do feel like a crazy person.

Not a bad guy.

The way I see it is, I was so clumsy that I didn’t man up towards multiple goals in my life before.

Life is, often a thing where you have to make choices. And when you’ve got a bit of inner greed, you might not man up to those choices.

This pride thing.

Yeah.

Food for thought.

I’ve been having a much harder time paying attention to anything lately.

Seriously, if you want more than 4 minutes of my attention…..

That’s a problem.

I don’t even feel like finishing full matches in games. I just don’t care.

I’m getting into a place where, my dopamine, my reflexes, they’re just not as sharp.  I could blame aging, but I think there’s a bit more too it.

I’m really, really, really, really, bothered that I’m not wholeheartedly behind a big decision about a character I made up.

I’m really bothered by that.

I don’t mean to agonize but, this IS one of those things I suspect

where an author’s alone.

You could get feedback, but it’s subjective.

You think pathmakers asked people in the old country which way they should go? You can’t do that with novel territory, that’s the thing.

And as for my split.

There’s entertainment, and there’s what’s intended.

I think that means I need to make changes more than sell.

But….

ugh.

Maybe I should just square off with life, and hope the next generation lives better.

#copout

I don’t think I’ll do that either

But also, I don’t know.  6am thinking.

Happiness is a slavery.

Freedom is a wander.

Being driven is the best.

It’s saturday, and I’m making taking my chemistry back to a more normal bio-baseline

yeah

just looking at a roadmap.

Food for thought.

head is fed.

Fiber is needed

for a bullshitting head.

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